My Cousin

Here's my first blog in Friendster. And what way to celebrate it than to post sumthing that I wrote a year ago. Since it's officially a year, I would like to share this with my old and new friends.

My Cousin

Hey everyone…I’m not used to posting things but I thought of wanting to share something with all of u…

On the 29th of June 2004, my cousin, Ahmad Fakhruddin b. Samsudin passed away. He passed away due to some heart complications. He left a wife and a daughter and he was only 23+ years old. When I first heard the news from my mother, I couldn’t shake off the shock that was going on in my head. I couldn’t bring myself to believe that he was gone. As my mum left me in my room…I cried.

He wasn’t just my cousin, he was my unofficial brother. His real brother, him and me were known to be the 3’s Stooges in our family. Despite being only cousins, our bond was just as close as we were real brothers. Whenever I was back in Terengganu, all three of us would get together and do the most craziest things. When we got older, we spent a lot of time talking abt our lives. Eventhough we were but phone calls away, but being around one another was the best. We would talk abt our dreams, girl problems, anything to seriousness until nonsensical stuffs. But the times when we were together felt like hours. We’d hang out near the pier at nite, and talked. Drove around and ‘kacau’ the ‘bapoks’…it was the times of our lives.

Now, he’s gone. No matter how I look at it, he is really gone. During his funeral I kept looking around maybe he would pop up and laugh his head off saying it was a prank. But seeing him on the bed. Lifeless…it was true that he has left this world. Before his burial, I gave my last respects and kissed his forehead. It was cold. How can a body so warm and full of life now be so cold. His brother held my hand and we held each other looking at our brother. It was goodbye. It was the last time, the ‘3’s Stooges’ were together. Until now as I’m typing this out, my heart still aches. There were a lot of things that I didn’t get a chance to say. But the most is ‘I’m sorry…’ and ‘Goodbye…’ When his body was taken into the earth, I looked on. I looked around and saw the people which lives he has touched. He may not have a high education, but he had a heart bigger than anybody else. He’s responsibility to his family has always had my respect. He loved his wife and he loved his daughter very much. He didn’t say it, but he acted upon it. And actions do speak louder than words. He had the biggest laugh among us, and there were times that he would talk to me abt his problems. Being afraid for his daughter, afraid of what kind of husband and father he would be. But I always told him that he did fine, and there was nothing for him to worry about. Due to that, it shows…what a responsible and loving person my cousin was.

D.D, my brother…I’ll miss u a lot…and there won’t be a day from now on that I would ponder on my own mortality and the times we had together…u’ll always be my brother…

Al-fatihah…

ezee

*written a year ago, and I still feel the sadness in my heart.